Being cheated on sucks. There’s not a worse feeling than this in the whole world when you’re in a relationship. And it gets way worse if you’re married and have kids.
Recent findings have presented new stats, which claim that in over 1/3rd of marriages, both or at least one partner admitted to cheating on their spouse (1).
These are disturbing stats and only add fuel to the fire when your partner suddenly stops communicating with you. So, the million-dollar question is:
If your partner is no longer sharing the smallest details and even avoiding communicating most of the time, can it be safely assumed that they’re cheating on you?
Conversations, along with trust, are the two pillars every relationship relies on. Which is why doubt is bound to creep in if your partner stops communicating with you out of the blue.
Although it can be argued that everyone has a right to privacy, but then where do you draw the line? How much of secrecy can be defined as too much of it? And if too much of it exists, does that mean something fishy is going on?
Today we’re discussing this particular topic as the question of ‘secrecy being a sign of unfaithfulness’ has caught on and plagued the minds of most of the visitors at ParentTown, a popular Q&A website that touches upon a variety of topics and encourages parents to ask questions so that they can get the right answer.
When it comes to the question of infidelity, and secrecy being a sign of it, most of the parents on this online forum seem to agree that partners who have suddenly turned secretive are likely indulging in an extra-marital affair.
An anonymous user of the platform posted a question starting with the fact that she’s losing trust in her husband. She went on to say that her husband has turned “secretive” as of late and doesn’t allow her to touch his phone or even check how much money he has, whether in the wallet or the account. The question she asked in the end was, should she be mad at such behavior?
Even though her husband’s behavior can be attributed to a variety of reasons, most of the readers on the forum went on to agree that, yes, she should very much be mad. And that her husband might, most likely, be cheating on her.
When In Doubt, Communicate
However, despite the common consensus among the respondents, many of them asked the anonymous questioner to reach out to her husband and have a heart-to-heart with him on this issue.
Ethur A., one of the respondents on the forum, emphatically mentioned that the woman who posted the question has every right to be angry at her husband for keeping secrets from her. But he also said that she should regardless try communicating with him, stressing the importance of communication.
To that, the anonymous user replied that she had tried talking to her husband on this issue but ended up feeling that he wasn’t telling her the truth. She said she “can feel it—instinct.”
Ethur A. then recommended that she should try spending some time away from her partner, so that he could realize her importance in his life and even gain some perspective.
Another responder, Lorraine A., agreed with Ethur, saying that she should be mad at this abrupt behavior change. However, she too suggested that the woman in question should try talking to her husband sweetly so he can open up. She also advised that the woman should allow her husband to touch her phone and see her bank statements in order to inspire confidence, so he can do the same.
To conclude, it’s tough to say whether a sudden reduction in communication is equivalent to cheating although it’s very likely. The only way to know for sure is to talk.